Monday, March 06, 2006

From the Home of the Peri-menopausal

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man
has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands!
This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in
the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff........And my favorite one...
13. Potential Murder Suspect

7 comments:

my so called happy place said...

i think this applies to all women. in fact, i think i'm going to email this to glen.

mamao4 said...

think it'll help??

my so called happy place said...

nah, you're right. it would be a futile effort. =\

mamao4 said...

i think your dad may written this one....

CastleBear said...

Poor guy, I really did put him through the wringer, didn't I!!! Now he's smartened up some makes sure we have chocolate in the house ALL THE TIME!!!

mamao4 said...

gotta love a guy who hands out dove chocolates to your friends!!

CastleBear said...

indeed...he's my teddy bear