For the Idiot Girl's Archives...

It's Not All Good:
The Death of a Catch Phrase

Last Saturday night, at approximately 8:23 pm, the term “It’s All Good,” quietly passed away while appearing in a prime-time commercial for Buick. The cause of death was officially determined as “over exposure,” though the phrase had indeed lived an extended and prosperous life, having a long-standing returning role on The Jerry Springer Showand The View.
Survived by his wife, “You Go Girl!” and his children, “Don’t Go There” and “Talk to the Hand!”, the slang star was born in a school yard when several third-graders were fighting over a piece of Laffy Taffy and it fell onto the ground. Kenny Moses, a grammatically-challenged fat child, scraped the dirt off of the taffy with a popsicle stick and proclaimed, “It’s All Good!” After spreading through the school like wildfire, it was apparent that the term showed promise of a future in slang when several adults repeatedly asked, “Will you please stop saying that! What does that mean?” Soon, “It’s All Good” found a home in the hallways of middle and high schools. It was just a matter of time before someone noticed that “It’s All Good” had a star quality with a potential for greatness.
Spotted soon after in a nightclub by agent and retired slang star “Dy-NO-mite!”, “It’s All Good” immediately signed with the once-household name and found himself trudging to cattle calls.
“It was hard on him,” said “Dy-NO-mite!”. “You go to these auditions, you give them all you got. You’re spit and polished. And for what? They come back and say, ‘Sorry, we need something with more pizzazz,’ or ‘Thanks, but we’re really looking for a noun.’ That gets to you man, that can really eat you up. There were a couple of auditions when I thought, ‘This is it!’ but later, we’d find out that it went to ‘Hasta la vista, baby,’ or ‘Run, Forest, Run!’ Those were hard times, I tell you, hard times.”
Finally, however, “It’s All Good” got his first big break into slang when he played a brief, and nearly unnoticeable part on “Prince of Bel Air.” Star Will Smith decided to use him at the last minute, replacing “No Way, Jose,” who had just checked into drug rehab for a third time. Within weeks, “It’s All Good” was appearing on every episode and soon became a regular, which led to guest spots on Dawson’s Creek, Felicity, and Dharma and Greg.
“All of a sudden, ‘It’s All Good’ was every where,” remembered his wife, “You Go Girl,” who met her future husband on the set of The Ricki Lake Show. “It was over night, it seemed. People couldn’t get enough. He was on the tip of everyone’s tongue.”
His star was riding high. Jay Leno, Letterman, Conan were calling. There was talk of an HBO special, a record deal, an opening slot on the Britney Spears tour, and rumors were flying like gunfire about a possible Budweiser campaign. Things were looking great. And then disaster struck.
Negotiations with the beer giant crumbled when “It’s All Good” insisted that his younger brother, “It’s All Aight,” (more commonly known simply as “Aight”) be included in the campaign as well. Worried that “Aight’s” troubled past and affiliation to Puff Daddy would negatively affect the campaign, Budweiser pulled its offer when “It’s All Good” refused to budge. Word got around that he was difficult to deal with, and the phone stopped ringing.
“He got a fat head,” “Dy-NO-mite!” recalled. “But then another brother team was hired for the campaign, ‘Wasssup?’ and ‘What Are YOU Doing?’ That was the nail in the coffin, man. Punks!”
“It’s All Good” dropped out of sight, and it seemed that his once brilliant career was over. Younger, more splashier slang terms such as “I’m All That” and “Word Up!” started to fill his spots, and most people, with the exception of teenage, truck-driving males in Yuma, Arizona and Mudlick, Idaho, began to forget their once favorite expression.
Despite the production of bumper stickers, T-shirts and Post-It notes with his image, “It’s All Good” was on his way to has-been status. But one day last fall, it looked as if his luck was about to change. “Dy-NO-Mite!” received a call from Buick, who was looking to create “trendy and dope” ad campaign. And they wanted “It’s All Good” for their slogan.
“I found him in a seedy slang bar, sitting in between ‘Keep On Truckin’’ and ‘I’m With Stupid,’” the agent recalled. “It was pitiful. He had begun selling some of his letters, even vowels, to pay for the booze. I almost didn’t recognize him. ‘’s All Goo, ’s All Goo,’ is what he said to me. He was a broken term, just broken.”
His agent cleaned and sobered him up and took him to the shoot. According to people on the set, the talent of “It’s All Good” had not faded, and he produced what some say was his best work to date. It was a glorious comeback. Tragically, however, it wasn’t to last.
When the first Buick commercial aired last Saturday, “It’s All Good” uttered his last breath and quietly faded away to the other side.
“He’ll live in our hearts forever,” “You Go Girl!” said as she wiped away a tear, “or at least on that Buick commercial until the 2002 models come out. I heard ‘No Way, Jose’ got that part.”